Study Finds Racism Only Remaining Multicultural Pastime

Kalamazoo, Michigan

In a landmark survey of nearly fifteen hundred people, researchers at Western Michigan University found that racism is the only remaining pastime that has wide appeal across demographics. Reviewing data that included viewing habits, hobbies, social groups, and religious practices, the social scientists found that perpetuating racial animus was the only commonality.

“These results surprised us too. We were expecting baseball to still have enough cultural cache to remain relevant, but it turns out people just want to hate. I can’t say I blame them.” said Dr. Phillip Chen, associate professor of computational social studies and euthenics and lead investigator on the study.

The implications of the study aren’t insignificant. Since the death of network television Americans have lacked a true monoculture, and this research may indicate that this has degraded the number of shared interests the public has until only racism remains. The impact of these findings has already been seen in the pro-racism policies at businesses like X and Purina Mills.

“We found that whether it’s a Klan rally or a meeting of the Nation of Islam, gathering to hate those who are ethnically distinct from their preferred group is the only collective activity our nation participates in.” said a graduate student whose doctoral advisor asked they be given only partial credit for the quote.