Involuntary Bike Share Program Enhances Community Mobility

Seattle, Washington

Local ruffians have once again shown their softer side. In an effort to combat rising transportation costs due to fallout of conflict in the Middle East, these rapscallions with hearts of gold have begun an involuntary bike sharing program.

The program works simply, area cyclists leave their bicycles outside of their homes, offices, or other destinations and program officers distribute them to community members in need. Participation costs as little as a hack saw and requires no registration.

“This is a great way to get more vulnerable members of the community moving. Apportioning bikes from the more fortunate among us to folks in need is a great way to encourage equity and make space for the marginalized.” said area resident Del Adkins as they hurriedly sawed through the cable lock of a bright green Schwinn near Fritz Hedges Waterway Park.

However, not all Seattlites are quite so enthused about the new program. One resident who refused to be named due to alleged concerns about social repercussions cited the cost of their bike as a reason they should be exempted from the community effort. Leaders of the initiative have been forced to invest in more robust bolt cutters or even reciprocating saws to combat their attempts to opt out.