Fernando Mendoza Declares For Puberty
Bloomington, Indiana
2025 Heisman Trophy and College Football National Champion Fernando Mendoza announced this week that he will be forgoing his final year of eligibility and declaring for puberty. Mendoza became widely known for voice cracks in postgame interviews that reminded fans that the 22 year old had yet to undergo puberty, the series of changes the human body undergoes as it reaches sexual maturity. He is only the second Heisman winner to gain the award prepubescent.
“This was a difficult decision, but my family and I have given this a lot of consideration and feel this is the best choice for myself and my future in football.” was the official statement from Mendoza, reporters cut him off as he attempted to praise God in the press conference.
Mendoza is on track to have an even more award winning 2026. As the projected first overall pick in the NFL draft and early favorite for White Boy of the Year, he is expected to only gain momentum as he moves into the second quarter. Sources close to the quarterback report that he is even considering learning how to talk to women.
This will really shake up the situation for the NFL draft. While currently expected to be the first overall pick to the Las Vegas Raiders, recent scrutiny for analysts has suggested that other quarterback prospects, notably Alabama’s Ty Simpson, could be better pro-ready options. However, Mendoza entering puberty could quell concerns not dispelled by rewatching the Rose Bowl.