Daring Burglars Separate Art From Artist
London, England
Last night a team of thieves raided sculptor Allen Jones’ home in London, making off with a truckload of paintings, wall hangings, and several as yet unreleased pieces by the controversial artist. Arriving just after midnight, the burglars managed to steal all of the art pieces from the home in under 30 minutes.
When reached for comment, the detective in charge of the investigation had this to say.
“It shows incredible discernment on behalf of these thieves to go after Jones’ work. His association with more distasteful right wing ideas, particularly about women, perturbs many. The burglars’ ability to understand the meaning of the sculptures beyond their station in the political zeitgeist is frankly commendable.”
As of yet no witnesses have come forward who saw anything beyond a small truck speeding away from the house in the early hours of the morning, but multiple sources report hearing Kanye West’s Through the Wire during the getaway.
The value of the art on the black market is as yet unknown, though highly dependent on the clientele being sold to. Police, working in conjunction with sources in the art world, have set up a sting in the form of an auction and showing of the Woody Allen film Annie Hall in 35 millimeter.