Area Crackpot Has Theories

Tacoma, Washington

Shre Jenkins announced a series of new and exciting theories this week. This 47 year old crackpot has been lambasting local media and passersby on a variety of Tacoma area street corners with his ideas for years, but he has finally consolidated them into concrete theories.

“The government is lying to you about 9/11. Do you really think they could get 2 planes coordinated to crash into buildings on the same day? They can barely pave the roads. And who knows how hot the mind control drugs in the chemtrails burn?” Jenkins yelled from atop a park bench, as pedestrians largely refused to make eye contact.

Despite the lack of engagement from the crowd, Jenkins theories seem to be making an impact where it really counts. When youths at the local park were surveyed, they showed propensity to engage with the ideas, subject matter, and thought patterns that he displays.

“You know, 6 million really does sound like a lot.” said one of the youngsters in question, just as likely to be quoting Jenkins as several similar TikToks.