Trump sends ICE to detain Doctors Without Borders

Washington, D.C. – President Trump has ordered federal agents from ICE to detain all employees of Doctors Without Borders, The Daily Dose has learned.┬áThe order was issued early Tuesday as part of the adminstration’s “zero tolerance” policy regarding border security.

Agents conducted a no-knock raid on the organization’s headquarters in Trump’s home state of New York. Thirty-one people were detained and later transported to a holding facility near the U.S.-Mexican border.

“They don’t believe in borders?” Trump said in a press conference. “They’re gonna believe in our big, beautiful border wall after they watch it’s construction up close! Hell doctors make a lot of money, maybe they can help Mexico pay for it.”

A Doctor Without Borders spokesperson told reporters that the situation “kinda works in our favor,” citing that the majority of detainees are pediatricians. “This is kind of actually what we normally do, sans arrests. Now all those kids seperarted from their families can get some medical care.”

At press time it was reported that Attorney General Jeff Sessions was seeking to extradite all international employees of Doctors Without Borders for “conspiracy to commit treason.”

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