Washington, D.C.- The Trump administration has announced a new policy mandating all physicians with the VA to take the ‘Hypocritic Oath.’ The new pledge is “closer in line to traditional VA care” according to sources.
The oath does not include a commitment to patients or their care, but includes a promise to ‘fight fake news’ about the VA and the President’s health.
“Our first line treatment is always ignore the patient,” a spokesman said. “So instead of ‘first do no harm,’ we thought ‘first do nothing for 6-12 months’ would be more fitting.”
“This is a big win for our vets,” President Trump told reporters. “A big win. I know they’re getting sick of winning, but we’ve got a few wins we’re working on.”
At press time, White House officials confirmed that the President will host a Hypocritic oath-swearing ceremony, to honor Dr. Ronny Jackson.