Infection control recommends hand amputation before and after each patient interaction

Washington, D.C. – Infection control specialists with the CDC now recommend a double hand amputation before and after all patient care, The Daily Dose has learned.

The policy change is aimed at reducing the number of hospital acquired infections, many of which are a result of inadequate hand hygiene.

“This is the only way we can totally ensure we aren’t sharing our germs with patients,” a CDC spokeswoman said. “There may be some growing pains while we get used to the change, but it will get easier.”

One hospital in Los Angeles has added miniature guillotines outside of patient rooms, in place of hand sanitizer stations.

Several nurses have praised the idea, calling it ‘a huge time saver’ and ‘more convenient than soap and water.’

The change seems to be having an impact; at press time no hospital employees that had amputated their hands had caused an infection.

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