The Daily Dose News has put together a list of the top 5 ways to spice up your 4th of July emergency room visit!
Number 5: Pound a few more shots while you wait for the ambulance. It’s gonna be a long night. Bring some for the staff while you’re at it.
Number4: Fake a seizure. Emergency departments are always busy this time of year, who has time to wait on a doctor? If the triage nurse doesn’t take you straight to a bed, fall over and start flailing around. She’ll never know!
Number 3: Sign out against medical advice. If you’re wait time is longer than you feel it should be, or you just don’t like what the doc has to say, just get up and go! Especially if you’re too intoxiated to feel any pain right now.
Number 2: Urinate in anything but a toilet, up to and including your own pants. It’s not a party if you’re able to walk yourself to the bathroom.
Number 1: Set any leftover fireworks off in the hallway. Your nurses are missing out on the seasonal fun, show them that you appreciate their sacrifice!